Blumph

Howdy Fellas!
Jesus its been months since I wrote on this thingy, I wonder if it's missed me...?
Anyway, how are you my dear readers? No one reads this really but hi anyway if you are.
So, there's no point beating around the bush I s'pose so I'm just gonna say it: I feel shit. That makes a change (notice the sarcasm).
Yeah, you know those days when you wake up and you feel emotional and really sad for no reason? Well I feel emotional and sad for no reason and I'm having one o those days. Which is quite bad seeing as I'd arranged to meet up with Rio for a bit of a catch up and ended up walking out of her house in a foul mood. I should probably say why so you guys don't think I'm totally mental or deranged or any other word which speaks ill of my psychological health.
So, I went round and we were on the computer looking for any decent bands on tour - of which there were hardly any. And then I just got annoyed because Motion City Soundtrack weren't playing ANYWHERE (:() and Rio, as a joke I presume, was like "Woah, woah, calm down woah," for ages, treating me like I was completely delusional at which point I got more annoyed and told her to stop over exaggerating (Hey, emotional and sad day!) And then she got really offended and turned totaly silent which means she's upset and angry, even though she denies it. Which I thought kinda proved my point of over exaggerating. But let's not get into that. So she carried on being sulky with me until I just got up and left. I mean what's the point in meeting up with someone if they're just gonna get crabby?! I decided to leave before we were at each others throats!
But yeah, that really bugged me and only made me feel more sad and emotional. Much as I love that girl, she really is like the best friend anyone could have, we just have our moments. God knows we had enough in Africa (which was totally awesome btw, but more on that later) and I bet we'll have many more in New York, my next adventure :D
I know I'm sounding really mean right now. Maybe I am? Maybe I'm just a mean mean girl who repels everything. Maybe I;m just hated by everything because I repel my friends and I repel people at school and I repel boys and I repel my family, hell if it wasn't for fucking gravuty I'd probably repel the god damn floor. Put me in a large area crowded with people and within seconds I'd be the only one left.
I sounds self absorbed but thats allowed 'cause I'm sad and emotional and repel things :'( How can you not sound self absorbed in a diary anyway?! I mean they're meant to be totally personal (this one, not so much) and private (again not so much). At least no one can steal mine and threaten to post it on the internet BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! Your plans are foiled again Mr Bond. Why James Bond would be stealing my diary is completely irrelevant...
Well, it's now quarter to one in the morning (writing by hand in bed) and I'm still not tired :/ I tried going to bed at like half past nine and just ended up crying and getting a sore throat. Why is it that when you cry at night it hurts your throat? I never got that.
But yeah, I was just thinking about my friend situation, or not-so-friend situation. Things are still pretty crap on that front. And I'm no gonna be like "I understand why they're doing it," and "it's totally fine," anymore, because I don't understand and it's not fine. I truly don't know what I;ve done and, moreover, I don't know how people can just decide overnight that they don't like a person anymore after five years (FIVE!!) It's just not how its done. Ah fuck 'em :( -.-
But yeah that got me thinking to boys and how awful they're going. My ex boyfriend Simon started going out with someone not long after we broke up which hurt me quite a bit, even though it shouldn't have. Even as friends, he didn't tell me until she'd cheated on him (HAH karma wins!) and he pulled out the sympathy card. And now he has a new one , and I hate how on his IM name its all "Kaz, your beauty blesses me, my glance turns to a stare, I love you so much, me - you = mortality, blah blah blah." I don't get how he can just splurt all that bullshit and girl instantly fall for him. I know I did too but that was before I knew what an egotistical liar he is. Still, he gives amazing hugs...
I think that's what I miss most about him; he was always there to hug me whenever I felt like poo and now he isn't.
On top of that, I recently saw a picture of my ex ex boyfriend Mike, who I was (I think) in love with, with some girl I don't know. It wasn't that they were doing anything, they were just sat next to each other on a sofa, but it made me jealous. Which now makes me question whether I stll have feelings for him. It's all very confusing and sucks a lot and it doesn't help that I'm really into Ally McBeal right now :(
Anyway, I'm off to Spain in a couplf of days... three weeks of bliss! Finally get to get away from this awful weather. So much for Summer Britain, once again you disappoint me. I wonder why I'm not used to it by now. Hopefully the aeroplanes will all malfunction while I'm away and turn into robots and start attacking the human race and then Shia La Boeuf (Phwoar ;) his name means king the beef... LOL!) and Megan Fox will have to come rescue us and then befriend a yellow car called Bumblebee and save the day but then there will be no planes left on the entire planet and I'll just have to live in nice hot sunny spain forever and marry some beautiful Spainish surfer called Juan who plays guitar and serenades me every night. That or we could just not get on the flight home I guess, but where's the fun in that?! Moving swiftly on...
Africa was AMAZING! It was utterly the single most awesome experience of my life, I definitely wanna go back someday. I saw elephants and hippos and crocodiles and antelope and rejected buffalo in the WILD! And everyone was so friendly. Everyone in the street would wave at us whenever we drove past in our huge orange truck (christened Christie by the Dragomen guys (company organising the trip) but who I called Monster :D) and all the kids at the school were so lovely. I miss it all so much, especially the guys running it. I cried when we had to leave, it was so sad :( But I found Mat on facebook the other day which was ace :)
I'm just kinda bummed that I haven't really met up with anyone this holiday. I sent an email to my 'friends' asking if they wanted to do anything or go out for a meal or something and no one replied. NO ONE! Which I think is just plain rude, don't you?! Then I send out another one abut the Harbour festival and Rio replied, and so did Claz but then she couldn't make it anyway. What lovely friends I have huh? In the end I didn't go. Oh well, if they can't be bothered with me why should I bother with them, right?
Still, any suggestions as to what I should do, help me out here pals...
I think that's quite enough for one evening/morning anyway. It's 01:17 and the girl needs her beauty sleep.
Laters xx