January 1st 2010 - A new start...?

Hmmm, a new start... it's unlikely to be honest, however much I desperately need or want one. I know within a couple of weeks I'll revert back to my old lazy ways. Well to hell with that already: today I have done nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G! I woke up late after drinking by myself til the early hours of this morning last night (that makes no logical sense at all, but you know what I mean) and then attempted to do many things. All of which failed horribly.
With three modules coming up in a couple of weeks, it's pretty vital to my Alevels that I revise for them. So far I haven't done a lot, no change today. Though, to give myself some credit, I DID try! I sat down with my books and folders and pens and paper and a bowl of bran flakes and a huge glass of water - that is brain food, right? I mean bran pretty much IS brain minus the one letter i which makes hardly any difference anyway - but I just couldn't do it. The most frustrating thing is I don't know why; I want to revise and I want to get good grades, I just physically can't sit down and do it when I'm at home. I suppose I'd better kiss my future career goodbye... :(
Also, I tried to tidy my room and ended up just playing spider solitaire on my laptop whilst singing away to mcfly, apparently without a care in the world. Which is bad because I'm currently living in a room that seemingly has no floor... my carpet has actually vanished and been replaced by a whole load of god-only-knows-what. Disgusting, I admit.
Next, and this is around 6 o'clock now, after waking up at like 3 :S. I gathered all my Literature resources, preparing to write my coursework (essay on EM Forster's 'classic' A Passage to India. It's actually the worst book I've ever read, and I only got like 100 pages in... woopsie) and then just didn't do it. I watched some crappy programme called Everwood online instead. I always get distracted by watching American teenage garbage, first it was one tree hill, then veronica mars, then gossip girl, then gilmore girls and now this! I shame myself! I don't even know why I watch them, they're so melodramatic and far-fetched. Still, I guess a part of me wishes real life was like that, where all the guys are beautiful and flawless in personality, and all my problems just get sorted out so I can live a life of perfect ease. I'll pray to Heath Ledger lol, and just maybe I'll be transported back to New York and I'll live there and everything will be amazing. Maybe.
A new start. That means not sitting around like I have been for the past zillion years waiting for the right guy to sweep me off my feet. For the record, Callum didn't work out so good. Another one down the drain. Not that I blame him: I wouldn't want to be with me, I'm a wreck. Which really looks good on me, along with the extra weight from Christmas. New year's resolution 2: look good by at least summer, so I can fit into a swimming costume without it bulging in all the wrong places. And number 3 is obviously find mr right. Number 4 being don't fuck up this year in school. And number 5 being BE MORE SPONTANEOUS! That's the most annoying thing about my life, it's all so predictable because I live each day exactly the same, and I don't want that anymore y'know? I wanna go out and have adventures and find my own Hogwarts, become my own heroine. I'm sick of being boring and unnoticed.
Wow, New starts become depressing real quick! And I should probably go and sleep if I want to get up at a reasonable hour tomorrow, allowing plenty of revision time :)
Night folks xx