Tuesday 22nd June - And here's to days of sad songs and cup cakes...

HF1 - in less than 2 years, I will be out of this house for good.
HF2 - out of this house, includes away from my mother.
HF3 - my wonderful friends, who I never thought cared. Even if they don't, they pretend to just for me.
HF4 - the cup cakes I did make werent too bad, and I didn't break my kitchen.
HF5 - all of my internal organs are functioning pretty well... minus my brain. I guess my external ones arent doing too bad either.
Ugh. Ive not had a good few days pals :/
My mums turned into a raving mad lunatic, and it's not even fun to laugh at her. Shes making me feel so crappy. For instance, yesterday I came home and cleaned the kitchen, like I usually do, and said something like "this house is filthy" which to be fair it is, and she secretly agrees. But she totally flipped and accused me of doing nothing and being a "lazy cow" and apparently I "don't care about the well-being of the family" and all thus bull, when my brother who is 2 years older, swans around all day, not doing anything. He's on studyleave... it seems like someone forgot to take the study out of the name! He lounges around on the sofa all fucking day, does fuck all, so when I come home after school (fair enough its not exactly demanding at the minute, but fuck at least I;m doing something progressive) I have to clean the kitchen, living room, hallway, start cooking ad tidy up all the crap that hes left lying around. AND IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF!
So what's worse is my mum's saying all this shit to me, while he's standing right behind me, making a pint of milkshake of something, spilling this stuff that looks like a diarrhoea all over the counter that I've just cleaned. It's such a load of piss, and ARGH! I just need to get away from it!
And then, I decided to give her some space so went and did my work in my room. My dad called me so I replied shouting down the stairs (not as bad as it sounds, our house is just kinda big and I couldnt be assed to walk down three flights of stairs to talk to him lol) and then I heard HER saying "oh don't bother with her" so I just went back uostairs and thought FUCK YOU!
So yeah I went without dinner... god was I starving, but there was no way in hell I was gonna be in the same room as her grrr.
But it's so stupid, because just a few days ago, we made cupcakes together and just had a really cool day and she was lovely, so maybe it's my fault that shes in a bad mood..? Which makes me feel guilty and rubbish :/ They tasted nice as well :(
THEN!
It gets fucking worse!
I had such a crap day... it's a close second behind the history trip last year!
So, I woke up late and had to go to school with greasy shitty hair, practically no make up on and just looked like a tramp had walked into sixth from, not a pretty sight. On the bus into school, one of my friends was just being really annoying, and because most of my mates on the bus are in the year below me, they're all on study leave for GCSE's, and are never on...so it's just me and him (he's two years below) and sometimes he's really cool and a loaugh to be around, and then other times he just goes on and on and on about his favourite show or his favourite band or i dunno his favourite pizza topping! Whatever it was, I didn't give a shit!
Then when we stopped at portway, some small child in our uniform came on the bus and sat down next to me... which seeing as I was sat in the aisle seat ended up sitting ON me! For fucks sake this kid looked about 9! So I said "excuse me?" to which he replied "you're excused" and he looked so fucking smug, ugh I got so angry! I mean what the fuck is with children?! The year 7s in our schooll get shorter, gobbier, ruder and fatter every year, and they walk around acting all big, lord knows theyy all have short man syndrome and are compensating for their tiny underdeveloped cocks! I thought children were meant to be NICE until they hit puberty!!!! Someone get me Piaget on the phone, because the lot at our school are obviously all mentally dysfunctional. And I'm sure you can't blame 300 lots of parents...
Anyway, I shoved him off me, as I think was my right to do so, and he got really uppity about it, I think he said something about bullying, childline and his rights (pffffffft what about my right to sit wherever the fuck I want without having to worry that a small child will mistake my jean-covered-lap for the tartan pattern of the seat?!). Then he pulled out he ginger card. Fair enough to him if he'd done something original with it, sadly I don't count "well...you're ginger" as either innovative, or even insulting. Maybe he wanted some clarification that he wasn't colourblind or just has the mental ability of a fridge, I'm not quite sure.
And to make matters worse, my flip flops broke today. Well, either flip or flop broke... the toe bit came out of the foot bit (and I just accused him of being retarded... hypocrite hypocrite hypocrite). I had to walk around shcool all day with no shoes on. Added to my rushed attire and appearance, it was not attractive :( Bless James though, he tried to fix it with mass amounts of sellotape... kinda failed though.
So yeah... it's been a stressful couple of days. I've been thinking a lot about my EPQ as well, but still not getting anywhere with it. And then I think about uni, which makes me think about growing up, which makes me freak. Jeez, Peter, you only have like a year left to take me away to Neverland, and still get away with it being legit! Screw Wendy, I'm much more fun, and don't mind mermaids at all :) Plus all the lost boys will accept me because I look like a man :D As for Tink, she might just end up in the washing machine...
I suppose I'm not really helping my situation by having a sudden infatuation with the band Sister Hazel, who are really cool. They play songs with really sad melodies, even though most of the lyrics are kinda upbeat.
Anyway chums... I'm tired of talking about allthis crap, so I'll let you get back to your more interesting lives :) Enjoy them while they last, I'm feeling a death spree emerging, coming soon to a town near you :)
Laterss xx